It's Okay To Be Not Okay

Read this sentence to yourself a couple of times..

It's okay to be not okay.

I'm not blazing any trails here, but this is a powerful notion and I believe it cannot be understated. So many of us, whether we think or talk openly about it much, our touched in some way by mental health issues. Even if your life isn't directly marred by mental illness, you probably know at least some one who suffers. Telling yourself, or them, that it really is okay to be not okay is a statement of acceptance, humility, understanding and empathy that can make a real difference.

Those of us who have a mental health diagnosis are really a fortunate few in some ways. So many more people go under the radar. Many are stuck in complete denial. Others are aware of their issues but refuse to deal with them, really just another form of denial. Some get misdiagnosed, and often receive the wrong treatment. There's another group who really try to get help, but come up against the massive difficulties involved in dealing with medical professionals who fail them in a system which is broken.

Depending on how much you expose yourself to it, mainstream media has an awful lot to answer for when it comes to attitudes towards health in general, not just mental health. A picture of perfect physical fitness, vitality and happiness is pervasively portrayed in celebrity culture, popular music videos, advertising and lifestyle programs which can lead people to believe that it really isn't okay to be not okay. Society generally seems to mirror this façade.

Even outside the realms of mental health, it can be extremely liberating to be told that it really is okay not be not okay. It's okay to be wrong about things, and we need to realise that often the best way to learn is to be wrong. It's okay to react badly to something, as long as we reflect on our reactions accordingly. It's okay not to be the smartest, quickest, best, most knowledgeable or strongest. If we all gave each other the benefit of the doubt more, cut each other more slack and generally stopped being so judgemental, the world would be a better place.

I'm as guilty as the next person of being judgemental sometimes. I freely admit it, but I'm trying really hard to not be so quick to judge. Sure, there are some real arseholes out there - psychopaths, sociopaths, narcissists, racists, xenophobes, sexists, homophobes, thieves, liars, cheaters and all manner of other assorted human detritus - but in my experience these oxygen thieves only represent a small minority of people. We need to judge less and try to understand more. Most people are inherently good at heart, and I refuse to believe otherwise.

Instead of trying to pretend that everyone should be happy all the time, like that is a normal state of being, let's remind ourselves that being human means experiencing a whole range of emotions, from the darkest lows to the highest highs, at any given time. Just because you're feeling unhappy it doesn't mean you're mentally ill, any more than it means you're completely content in life just because you're feeling happy. Welcome to the human condition!

It's never okay to judge some one as defective or discriminate against them in any way simply because they don't fit into some manufactured and totally distorted view of how they should be. So next time you see anything like that going on, or find yourself in that kind of situation, or even if you simply find you are questioning how you're feeling and not getting any answers, remember the mantra..

It's okay to be not okay.

Copyright ©2018 Richard C. Greenlow. All rights reserved.