Poetry Corner VII

Hey folks.

So it's been a hell of a year. Seems I'm one of many who've found this year pretty extreme in terms of highs and lows, struggles and triumphs. I decided to end on this final poetry corner, here's hoping you enjoy the positive messages that dwell within.

I would just like to thank everyone who has read my blog this year, given me feedback, contacted me and helped spread my writing around.

I whispered in the wind, and many of you heard me and recognised something of yourself in my words..

That is truly the greatest gift of all!

One love.

Just Walk Away

Easy to look outside you

At other's problems and pain,

Easier to reach out to them

Than to delve deep within your brain,

Easier to offer advice

Than take your own medicine,

Helping others to heal

Puts your shit in the pedal bin.

Thing is, things overflow

When we overlook our own

Impediments and issues

And it all quickly mounts up.

That's when crises occur,

As floods breach our levees

We find ourselves unsteady

And unable to really cope.

Beware the do gooders

For often there's rot inside,

You'll get judgement and bile

If you dare question their motives.

Be selfless only to a point,

Don't end up neglecting your needs,

As those you help the most

May well be the first ones to leave.

Life's a delicate balancing act

But hell, we all know that,

The trick is to treat others

How we would have them treat us.

So when you do all you can

And they throw it back in your face,

Just turn your back and walk

And leave them to their disgrace.

R. C. Greenlow

[12.11.2018]

Love Of Life

Love the way it comes together

At the drop of a hat,

Spent so long wishing so much,

Above and beyond this and that.

Not waiting any more,

Doing my thing the way I want.

No one overtaking my inertia,

Mine is my own bathing font.

Belittled none, beyond delusion,

The perfect opposite of panic here!

Unable to stop myself smiling,

No plan of another’s to adhere.

Alone is what I used to call it

Before my rise to realising this,

Now I know peace everywhere..

Life has led me directly to bliss.

R. C. Greenlow

14.10.2001

Equanimity

Take a clean fresh page

And a moment to clear your mind,

Then imagine you're the sun

Radiating heat down on everyone.

Take time out to sit back,

Refresh the mind of the daily dross,

Then allow yourself to flow like wine

From the finest grapes you can grow.

Throw away your inhibitions,

Ignore the stale voices holding you back,

Eat from golden fields of corn

And drink only the purest spring water.

Take a moment to reflect on this,

Remember it for the rest of your days,

As this is when you're truly tuned in

To the best bits of living this life.

R. C. Greenlow

08.07.2000

Copyright ©2018 Richard C. Greenlow. All rights reserved.

Particeps Tua

I know you..

You used to be so different. You were sleepwalking through life for so long, with just occasional moments of waking that were so awful you went right back to sleep again, until a day came when you awoke to realise you can sleepwalk no longer. That was the day that everything changed. Oh what a day, of fear and rapture in equal measure!

Somehow you knew things would never be the same. Pandora's box was opened though, any way you cut it, and it just took a while for your brain to catch up to the reality of your new situation. The familiar walls of perception you used to rely upon to compartmentalise everything into were gone. So many things you'd decided were facts, stuff you were taught to believe all your life, suddenly all realised as fairy tales and lies. You awoke from silent slumber into an emerging nightmare..

I know how you felt at that moment, reeling from the enormity of that complex web of deceit, having the whole carpet tugged out from under you like that. But remember the massively freeing feeling when you climbed out of your cage, when the missing puzzle pieces swam into view on the horizon where previously there had been just a fog in the distance? I know you thought about climbing back inside that cage, but there truly is no going back my dear friend. What is seen in truth and light can never be unseen.

How those days were lonely. How you trod the depths of a despair you never thought possible. But you must remember what it was that caused you to rise up from those depths. It wasn't a return to shallow comforts, to that former world where everything was reasonably certain and comfortable but so terribly limited and fake. It was the rising awareness of truth, its light slowly warming your soul from the very core and spreading outwards to every part of your being. It was answers to burning questions, that you didn't even think to ask before, suddenly becoming available in the unlikeliest of places. It was the dawning of your real life.

Know that you don't have to explain your internal struggle to me. I'll always be here to listen, but never feel you have to explain anything. As unique and complex and meandering as your journey has been I know of that journey. I feel your pain. Many times you've climbed up high only to fall, many times they've raised you up only to cuss you down. You've had moments where you've wanted to settle for the numbness of resignation to that state somewhere between sadness and apathy, but that's not you my dear. You're not meant to stay that way. You're meant for far greater things..

You deserve to feel the quiet exaltation that is only gained by breaking out of the prison of your former life, doing all the hard work of conquering your fears and addressing your weaknesses, and choosing to walk on the less travelled road. You've earned the right to a voice and to be heard. Never be scared to use your voice. If they ever try to silence you then shout and scream if you have to, or let me shout for you. I'll be your mouthpiece and I will never let them quieten your thunder. You are wonderful and you are powerful, and they are fearful and they are weak. You will win!

I know the road is long because I walk it with you. I'm beside you, through the twists and turns and bumps and pitfalls, over the hills and through the valleys. I'm not going anywhere without you my dear friend. I'll never leave you behind, and should you take a wrong turn I will gently try to guide you back onto this road. I know you'll find your way back, one way or the other. You'll never be lonely my dear. Even if you turn away, know that I'm always going to be nearby, patiently waiting for you. It's so much nicer to walk this road beside you than to traverse it alone.

I know you so well. You're thinking, "how can I change the world, I can't even change my own life.."

But you can, my dear friend. You can change your life. Any time, any moment, you can change it all just by thinking differently and believing it can be different. Believe in better. Believe it and you will see it! Let your belief change the world. Be the change you want to see in the world. Take small steps. Eventually, those small steps lead to big changes. This is truth, and it is untouchable.

Belief is everything my dear friend. Believe in truth and light and love. Live your life in truth, let the light in and enjoy it's warmth, and use love as your currency. And I'll be here, right beside you, believing in you and with you. Your companion. Always.



Copyright ©2018 Richard C. Greenlow. All rights reserved.

Angels Exist

Allow me to tell you about someone extraordinary. Someone who is underestimated, who's achievements more often than not go uncelebrated, and who truly deserves the highest praise of all. She doesn't consider herself worthy of this sort of praise, such is her humility and humble nature, but it is high time that the magnificence of her presence and the beauty of her soul were highlighted to the world..

There are two definitions of the word 'angel'. The first is obviously of the religious/spiritual kind. The second is simply 'a person of exemplary conduct or virtue'. In this piece I am talking of the latter. This particular angel was born into what most people would call a pretty 'normal' or 'ordinary' English family. She experienced a lot of bullying throughout her school years, again not an abnormal thing to go through, but nonetheless difficult and painful at a tender age. One can imagine that the world seemed pretty harsh and unforgiving to her by the time she left high school.

Since her early days, life has been a roller coaster ride of emotions. She has found herself in difficult roles, which have shaped and defined her in multifaceted ways. Chief among these was in unexpectedly becoming an expectant single mother, only to have the worst of all possible outcomes happen when, shortly after birth, her beautiful baby son passed away. It is simply impossible to fathom the depths of grief, loss and pain that emanate from this huge event in her life. The potential in this situation for one to become bitter and resentful of life is massive. How many would never get back up off their knees after such an event, or get up only to become twisted and broken?

She has taken on the role of friend and carer with enhanced compassion, empathy, understanding and capacity for love since this tragedy. She has navigated through the minefield of her grief, the awkwardness and difficulty others have with it, and the overwhelming sense of meaninglessness and unfairness that echoes from it with a grace and quiet resilience that is worthy of the highest honour. She asks the world for so little, yet truly deserves so much more than she would ever ask for.

She finds it hard to make friends, a fact which comes from the legacy of schoolyard bullying and bitter experience since then. She has been let down and lied to often, and when letting people in comes hard and they suddenly turn and tread all over you it is easy to give up on people all together. But, she hasn't given up on people. She has learned to be guarded, careful and ever-conscious of the pitfalls and risks of letting people into her life, but has not closed the door to them. She will not suffer fools gladly, but at the same time she will not close her heart to the possibility of new friendship.

She shines brightest when it comes to her roles of step-mother and mother to two daughters. She negotiates, compromises, nurtures, guides, organises, supports, helps and extends herself to them with an unconditional love that is unshakeably strong and awesomely powerful. The children look up to her, respect her and love her back with an ease that many would truly envy. She is an amazing role model and a beacon of light in the lives of these children, and she does it all completely naturally, taking it all in her stride, even when it is difficult, uncomfortable and massively inconvenient to her.

To me, she is my absolutely everything. The rock to which my very existence is tethered. She found me when I was at my very worst, lowest ebb, just as I was ready to give up on life, and she helped me rise up from the pits of that despair without hesitation. She took a huge risk to be with me, and is the driving force behind my will to live up to my potential and my desire to be the kind of husband she needs and deserves. She inspires me, enthralls me, guides me, supports me and puts herself on the line for me all the time. She has helped me to get through the fallout of the sum total of all life's hard knocks. She encourages my growth and listens to my petty grumblings and complaints. She has stayed with me.

She has stayed!

All the work of self-improvement, emotional growth, therapy and continued dedication to truth and reality I do for myself, of course, but also for her. I have an awful lot to live up to, so much to be grateful for and much more work to do to truly show my appreciation to her, and to be not just a good but a great husband to her. She deserves to be shown every day just how important, how amazing, how wonderful and how uniquely special she is in our lives. I have not always lived up to my word, or made enough effort, and I rarely feel deserving of her. The mission of living up to her magnificence is mine to fail. I am determined I will not fail her.

She is my angel, and worthy of the highest praise.

It may be the loftiest of goals, but I hope that one day I can rise to be her angel too..


Copyright ©2018 Richard C. Greenlow. All rights reserved.