Allow me to tell you about someone extraordinary. Someone who is underestimated, who's achievements more often than not go uncelebrated, and who truly deserves the highest praise of all. She doesn't consider herself worthy of this sort of praise, such is her humility and humble nature, but it is high time that the magnificence of her presence and the beauty of her soul were highlighted to the world..
There are two definitions of the word 'angel'. The first is obviously of the religious/spiritual kind. The second is simply 'a person of exemplary conduct or virtue'. In this piece I am talking of the latter. This particular angel was born into what most people would call a pretty 'normal' or 'ordinary' English family. She experienced a lot of bullying throughout her school years, again not an abnormal thing to go through, but nonetheless difficult and painful at a tender age. One can imagine that the world seemed pretty harsh and unforgiving to her by the time she left high school.
Since her early days, life has been a roller coaster ride of emotions. She has found herself in difficult roles, which have shaped and defined her in multifaceted ways. Chief among these was in unexpectedly becoming an expectant single mother, only to have the worst of all possible outcomes happen when, shortly after birth, her beautiful baby son passed away. It is simply impossible to fathom the depths of grief, loss and pain that emanate from this huge event in her life. The potential in this situation for one to become bitter and resentful of life is massive. How many would never get back up off their knees after such an event, or get up only to become twisted and broken?
She has taken on the role of friend and carer with enhanced compassion, empathy, understanding and capacity for love since this tragedy. She has navigated through the minefield of her grief, the awkwardness and difficulty others have with it, and the overwhelming sense of meaninglessness and unfairness that echoes from it with a grace and quiet resilience that is worthy of the highest honour. She asks the world for so little, yet truly deserves so much more than she would ever ask for.
She finds it hard to make friends, a fact which comes from the legacy of schoolyard bullying and bitter experience since then. She has been let down and lied to often, and when letting people in comes hard and they suddenly turn and tread all over you it is easy to give up on people all together. But, she hasn't given up on people. She has learned to be guarded, careful and ever-conscious of the pitfalls and risks of letting people into her life, but has not closed the door to them. She will not suffer fools gladly, but at the same time she will not close her heart to the possibility of new friendship.
She shines brightest when it comes to her roles of step-mother and mother to two daughters. She negotiates, compromises, nurtures, guides, organises, supports, helps and extends herself to them with an unconditional love that is unshakeably strong and awesomely powerful. The children look up to her, respect her and love her back with an ease that many would truly envy. She is an amazing role model and a beacon of light in the lives of these children, and she does it all completely naturally, taking it all in her stride, even when it is difficult, uncomfortable and massively inconvenient to her.
To me, she is my absolutely everything. The rock to which my very existence is tethered. She found me when I was at my very worst, lowest ebb, just as I was ready to give up on life, and she helped me rise up from the pits of that despair without hesitation. She took a huge risk to be with me, and is the driving force behind my will to live up to my potential and my desire to be the kind of husband she needs and deserves. She inspires me, enthralls me, guides me, supports me and puts herself on the line for me all the time. She has helped me to get through the fallout of the sum total of all life's hard knocks. She encourages my growth and listens to my petty grumblings and complaints. She has stayed with me.
She has stayed!
All the work of self-improvement, emotional growth, therapy and continued dedication to truth and reality I do for myself, of course, but also for her. I have an awful lot to live up to, so much to be grateful for and much more work to do to truly show my appreciation to her, and to be not just a good but a great husband to her. She deserves to be shown every day just how important, how amazing, how wonderful and how uniquely special she is in our lives. I have not always lived up to my word, or made enough effort, and I rarely feel deserving of her. The mission of living up to her magnificence is mine to fail. I am determined I will not fail her.
She is my angel, and worthy of the highest praise.
It may be the loftiest of goals, but I hope that one day I can rise to be her angel too..
Copyright ©2018 Richard C. Greenlow. All rights reserved.
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