Poetry Corner VI

It's that time again. I know I usually don't do poetry corner more than once a month, but lately I've been seemingly rather plugged into the old metre and verse. So without further ado, here's 3 of my latest little ditties.

Whatever You Need

Dunno' what to do

Or what to say,

Dunno' what sounds best

Or what to play.

No idea if there's answers

Or real solutions,

Dunno' how to ease the pain

Or help in any way.

It's no longer all about me

I've no information to work from,

No insight to rely upon,

To help you find your way.

Don't care about my feelings,

Just want your pain to heal.

Need information to work from

To help me guide you through.

I'm stumbling blind in the dark

Through invisible obstacles,

Trying to navigate a path

That might lead to your side.

This is all so new

But I'm in for the long haul.

I can step back from you,

Or be resolute and stand tall.

I can be the strong one,

Take on anything you need.

Trust me to do anything,

If it helps you it helps me.

Even if there's nothing,

No words or thoughts or deeds,

I'm here with you regardless

To take care of your needs.

R. C. Greenlow

[08.11.2018]

Mountains And Mole-Hills

When big storms blow in,

Buffeted by shocks and traumas,

I seem to make like a shark,

An automaton on a mission.

Yet the silly daily annoyances,

The hiccups that interrupt my flow,

Seem to trigger a disabling rage

That reduces me to tantrums.

What is it about the really big stuff

That inspires such coping abilities?

How do I traverse these mountains

With such innate calm and control?

And yet, what is it about the little things

That utterly disables my equanimity?

Why does every mole-hill I encounter

Trip me up, as if I’m as blind as the mole?

Give me crises, trauma and disaster

And I’ll help you over the bridges I build,

I’m an island of calm, a refuge and shelter,

When surrounded by terror and strife.

Yet petty annoyances and minor niggles

Drive me to almost instant distraction,

And as all logic and reasoning evaporate

I’m left feeling like a two year-old child.

‘Don’t sweat the small stuff’ I hear so oft,

As if that was the easiest thing in the world,

But the mole-hills that litter my daily life

Have become without doubt my Achilles heel.

So give me mountains any day of the week,

I climb and I conquer and I thrive,

But just leave the room when I lose my mind

Over the littlest things in the world.

R. C. Greenlow
Inspired by Nathaniel George

[11.11.2018]

Ode To Her

She's not here..

Right now, she just can't be.

She's not here..

And I don't blame her one bit.

She's got to take time out..

For herself and her sake.

And though I miss her so,

Though I need her presence,

Though I want to hold her close..

It's really isn't all about me.

So take your time..

Take all the time you need love.

Rest up my sweet,

Take your sweet time.

Do whatever you need to do..

Don't worry about me.

Take all the time in the world..

I ain't going nowhere.

R. C. Greenlow

[08/11/2018]

Copyright ©2018 Richard C. Greenlow. All rights reserved.

Poetry Corner V

Recent weeks have been tumultuous in my life, and as such I haven't had time to fully process and reflect on events, let alone write about everything that has been going on. Suffice it to say that I shall be bringing the edited version to these pages, as soon as time and cognition allows, for those of you who find my mental meanderings interesting..

In the meantime, here's are this months three poetic offerings, straight from the rabbit hole of my mind and up onto the surface.

Have a blessed November folks.

Forward March

Absolutely free

To be absolutely me,

It's all absolutely fine

Now I see it all so clearly.

I make no excuses,

Got my purpose and my uses,

But through past abuses

I've let my people down.

So this is me restating

There'll be no more hating,

No pointless time-wasting,

As there's so much to do.

I'll forgive myself, if you do,

Get on with what we're meant to,

Stand up for what's really true

And help others do it too.

So lean on my shoulder

And I will be your soldier,

As we gradually grow older

Together, ever onwards.

R. C. Greenlow

[05.11.2018]

What Negativity?

Fed up with their whining,

Or am I the complainant?

They’ve got me second-guessing

And the hypocrisy is blatant,

But I know who I am inside

Despite all the cruelty around.

I’ll never stand down,

I’ll just hold on for the ride.

The stuff that really matters,

Over which I have no control,

Drives my mind half crazy

And claws right at my soul.

Through all the self-searching,

I find myself here again

Holding this familiar pen,

While my senses are lurching.

Is this normal or wrong?

Is this a poem or a song?

Will it always be this way?

What am I trying to say?

Am I too indifferent?

Not even sure that makes sense,

Surely I’m too self-assured

To sit on the fence?

Stay strong they say,

But what do they really know?

I’ll just go with the flow

And deal with it my own way.

Is this normal or wrong?

Am I going on too long?

Will it always be this way?

What was I going to say?

Is this how it will be?

Will my doubts fade away?

And, eventually,

Will I know what to say?

R. C. Greenlow

[03/10/2017]

Learning, Slowly

Life is all about endings and beginnings,

The old has to die for new things to begin,

We’re breathing through cycles of hope and fear

To try to clear a path to a future we can’t see.

Clarity is in short supply, so we hide behind

The cold comfort of our outdated excuses,

But nothing good ever comes of our refusal

To accept that change is, ultimately, inevitable.

Incredible then, to imagine ever having not known

That what we reap in life is the harvest we’ve sown!

Alone, we design and manufacture our own destiny,

The rest of the story rests purely on our coping abilities.

I don’t have answers to more than a mere fraction of things

That we all have to ponder and negotiate and decide,

If we are not to simply hide from the inevitable rising tide

Of life’s meandering path towards the gaining of real insight.

One thing I truly do know for sure though is this fact;

That how we act is a reflection of our innermost thoughts,

So surely we ought to be always improving our thinking

In order to be rising up, instead of just slowly sinking.

R. C. Greenlow

[06.11.2018]

Copyright ©2018 Richard C. Greenlow. All rights reserved.

Word Up

"Talk is cheap."
"Words don't mean much."
"Actions speak louder than words."

It may seem odd for a writer, one for whom the written word is so important, to be in agreement with the sentiment behind these thoughts, but I am. At least, on face value. Talk is indeed cheap, but that is only half the story. Talk is cheap when it is not followed swiftly by action. Words, in and of themselves, often do not mean a great deal. We all, to a greater or lesser extent, make throwaway comments and use words and phrases without really thinking about their full implications, or having a complete understanding of their often multiple meanings. Actions do, without doubt, often speak louder than words. Even the words of the finest writers of all time are limited in their power if they are not applied to some form of constructive or creative action.

What I fundamentally disagree with though is the premise that words cannot change the world. Perhaps alone they cannot create change per se, but I absolutely believe that the written word, when presented coherently, read with diligence and pondered upon with intellect, can really change our thinking and therefore be converted into action that can ultimately affect real change in the world. It is only our individual limitations; of literacy and intellect, of capacity for understanding using logic and reason, of ability to think beyond various biases, and the awareness of and determination to surpass the inherent flaws in the human condition, that stop good words becoming positive action.

I write a good deal on overcoming the difficulties and facing the challenges of mental illness, and on how one can 'evolve' to be a better person by changing one's thinking on things. Despite my knowledge of a wide array of tools, techniques and methods to achieve positive change in my life, all of which are truly 'tried and tested', I can still come unstuck and fail to live up to my potential in a heartbeat, on a daily basis. It is far too easy to fall into this trap of not practising what I preach. The process of affecting and maintaining positive change - personal, emotional/spiritual growth - requires constant work. Without accepting that one must be permanently doing this work, and applying oneself to the task all the time, one quickly stops growing. Stagnation is quick to take hold, and soon after, reversion to negative thinking. Such is the spirit-draining strength of human entropy, and the magnitude of the imperative to combat it.

If we talk the talk, but do not walk the walk - if our patter is grand but we have no follow-through - we are not living a genuine life. We are faking it. 'Fake it until you make it' is something I hear mooted as an actual valid method of achieving positive change. I am sure that, to some degree, appearing confident, optimistic and competent can help a person to start to build themselves up. However, this is at best a limited short-term measure. There is, as ever, no shortcut to long-term personal growth, and the importance of striving to be genuine in our thinking about ourselves and the rest of the world cannot be overstated. It is extraordinarily rare to be able to separate people into one of two types, but in this matter you really can. There are genuine people, and there are fake people. I know which camp I choose to be a part of.

All this talk of hard work, difficult thinking and taking on challenges can seem overwhelming. Sometimes I wonder if I am writing too much about how hard this all is and not enough about the massive benefits of doing the work. Even more often I find I am reeling from my own sense of personal failure - failure to live up to the model of growth I promote, failure to acknowledge and enjoy the benefits and rewards of the successes I achieve, failure to get past the negativity when mental ill-health gets the better of me - failure to properly practice what I preach. Sometimes all the knowledge and wisdom in the world cannot save us from the pain of the human condition and the suffering of mental illness. All I can do is accept that fact, practice forgiving myself, make my apologies to those I may have negatively affected, and keep on keeping on.

Words do mean a great deal in this world, to each of us personally, between people and to humanity as a whole. Words can and do change the world for the better. Sharing our knowledge and wisdom is a gift that makes us all richer. And, when it comes to affecting real, fundamental, lasting, positive change in the world - well, I agree with the words of a shining light who was a far wiser man than I am..

"Listen, the next revolution will be a revolution of ideas." - Bill Hicks



Copyright ©2018 Richard C. Greenlow. All rights reserved.