Getting High

Once upon a time, in a small town not so far away, there lived a young man..

His life was ordinary, predictable and routine. Monday to Friday were spent at work in a basically unfulfilling office job. Evenings were a ceremonious marijuana-fuelled dulling of the senses. The weekend was his precious time to spend with his infant son, before partying his blues away just in time to begin another ordinary, predictable, routine week. Somewhere deep down, life was hinting at him of the unsustainable nature of this pattern, but as is often the way when in one's early twenties, such concerns were swiftly discarded as heresy.

At some point, something fundamentally changed. His life, held up by himself as a beacon of stability in a world he found to be cold, uncaring and unforgiving, began to fall apart. As the precarious balancing act of his daily existence began tilting and listing on the rough seas of life, a deep, dark, creeping depression extended its icy tendrils out into the depths of his soul. His response was to do the only thing he knew how to - party harder and hope it would pass. It didn't. Week on week he found his work became increasingly dull, unsatisfying and irritating. Weekends, although still a source of fun and excitement, were becoming a blur of substance-fuelled dance music-induced tinnitus. Recovering from this hedonism was taking up half of the following week..

The glass facade of his life had cracked, and was splintering outward.

Maintaining a sense of stability, so that all outward signs pointed to a young man coping and dealing with his life admirably, had suddenly become impossible. Relationships with friends, partners and work colleagues were breaking down, one by one, like the proverbial house of cards. He was no longer able to get through even a single day at the office without the sheer stress of his very existence forcing him into an embarrassed, shame-filled, blubbering mess. It was agreed that he take a period of extended leave and seek help. The bubble had well and truly burst. Helplessness, fear and a massively daunting sense of foreboding overcame him as the first hints of the journey to come dawned on him. And, in short order, he fully submitted himself to the cold, hard fact that he was unable to help himself.

And that is where his real life actually began. He sought out, and received, the help he needed. His journey from there was a gradual rise, from the rock-bottom pits of despair and self-destruction, to the dizzy heights of self-realisation and actualisation, and back again. And again. And again. Over the next decade life became a mosaic of mental illness, drug addiction, relationship breakdowns and trips to the terrifying world of psychosis, interspersed with periods of incredible emotional, psychological and spiritual growth, the discovery of inner strength and personal power, and the slow forging of a sense of control over his life that he had never before possessed.

Like a craftsman designing and building a huge and beautiful cathedral, he took hold of his life and, brick by brick, built something amazing from scratch for the world to see. Realisations; of responsibility to himself and others, of why and how he went wrong and how to avoid a repeat, of the power and beauty of seeking, finding and applying knowledge and wisdom, of the fragility and wonder that is life, and of the gift that is true friendship and real love, all came flooding over him. He had jumped into the river on the hottest of summer days and cleansed himself of the blood, sweat and tears of his life. Now he needed to set about collating all he had learned, in order to be ready for all he knew he would learn thereafter..

And so, another decade has passed. He has experienced what it is to be diagnosed with a major psychiatric illness, and been medicated to the point of zombification for much of it. But he is a year clear of that state, on minimal meds and ignited with a new lease of life. He has extreme anxiety issues, but knows why and is awaiting the help he needs to deal with the root causes of it. He has achieved so much, and is rich beyond his wildest dreams. He has a wonderful wife. He has three amazing children. He has all the support of family, friends and work colleagues he ever needed. He loves his job. And, like the icing on the finest cake, he is finally in a place where he can be creative in the way that he knows he was always meant to. He writes. He shares. He converses and he advises. He learns and he teaches. It feels good. So good..

All the drugs in the world can't achieve anything close to this high. This perfectly stable, nurturing, balanced, life-enhancing, healthy, natural high.


Copyright ©2018 Richard C. Greenlow. All rights reserved.