Less Travelled Road

"Life is difficult. Confronting and solving problems is a painful process which most of us attempt to avoid. And the very avoidance results in greater pain and an inability to grow both mentally and spiritually." - M. Scott Peck.

Twenty years ago I readThe Road Less Travelled, from which this quote is taken. It changed my life. I have dipped in and out of it continuously ever since, recently giving it another complete re-read. More than just a self-help book, it is pretty much like a manual for life. Indeed, it has taught me more about myself, and how to handle life and live it well, than anything else I have ever read. The books title borrows from the famous poem, 'The Road Not Taken', by Robert Frost. The meaning I get from the poem is that there is always a choice, at least two paths one can take in life, and that the real rewards come from choosing the less travelled road.

It is my contention that there are often several paths, if not many, that one can take at any moment in life involving problems and pain. Conversely, however, sometimes the choice is just between two options, a straight challenge if you will. The point is that at any stage we always have a choice. Often in the case of only having one of two options, the conundrum becomes whether to choose short-term pain for long-term gain, or not. This, in a nutshell, is what Peck is describing in the above quote, and is the overall theme of the book - choosing to confront and solve problems as they arise, opting to go through the 'legitimate suffering' of that choice, rather than ignore problems in the hope they will go away, or deny they exist at all, which only results in further pain and unnecessary suffering further down the track.

   "Yes, there are two paths you can go by
    But in the long run
    There's still time to change the road you're on"
- excerpt from 'Stairway To Heaven' by Led Zeppelin

These life choices (and experience teaches me that they are indeed just that) dictate which road we are taking. It isn't that 'the easy option' is always wrong, not at all, it is simply that this option is rarely the right choice if we are to make any real progress, truly learn something, properly overcome our difficulties and become a better human being for it. Usually, the harder choice is just that because it involves really working at it, extending ourselves, getting well out of our comfort zones and taking on the risk of failure that goes with all that. It can feel like taking three steps back in order to take one forward sometimes, as we get bogged down with the discomfort, pain and suffering involved in our choice to change, to take the harder path, but ultimately what we are actually doing is taking a huge leap forward.

I have been on this less travelled road for the last twenty years, and this is my experience of it..

The road is long and bumpy. I have the semi-permanent blisters on my feet and the constant bruising to show for it - but with time calluses have developed and the bruises heal quicker. The road is winding and narrow, its meanders ever confusing, and relentless effort is required to stay on it - but each twist and turn reveals an ever more splendid view. Walking this path is very hard going, with all sorts of potholes and hidden pitfalls on the way - but the process of overcoming each and every obstacle has made me stronger and more resilient.

In places the road is overgrown with nasty brambles and stinging foliage. It can really hurt travelling this road. It is easy to stray off the path at any time and end up in a blind alley or dark thicket. Once one strays, the way back can seem impossible, and the longer one remains off-road the harder it is to find one's way back. When you have been walking that road a long while, then suddenly become stuck in one of the many dark patches hidden all around, the yearning to get back on the road quickly turns to desperation. But, when eventually one finds a way out of the hole and climbs back up onto the less travelled road, the relief is truly a new lease of life.

You may well find yourself asking some important questions by this point, such as..

• "This sounds like really hard work. Why do I need to put myself through this?"
• "Are there not shortcuts I can take?"
• "What about those people who seem to be just getting by without doing all this?"
• "How will I know if I am on the right road?"

Well, I can tell you what I have learned. Taking the road less travelled is bloody hard work. It is very uncomfortable and can be extremely painful, but the rewards of the journey far, far outweigh the temporary endurance of suffering. The road offers continuous personal, emotional and 'spiritual' growth, helping you to be a better person for yourself and everyone else. There are no shortcuts to this work though, and anyone claiming to have found any is peddling snake oil. And those people, the ones who seem to be getting by without doing all this - they only seem to be getting by. They are probably not growing at all, leaving them ill-equipped to deal with all of life's problems and eventually unable to handle the pain of the human condition.

You will know when you are on the right road. You will be in absolutely no doubt, because with each step you take your world will light up, illuminating the path ahead and revealing amazing possibilities you could never have foreseen. You will feel better. You will look better and you will see better. Everyone around you will notice the change, likely even before you do, and life will take on new meaning and relevance. You will be living a better, more positive, more satisfying and more loving existence, with all the wonders and nuances that come with that life.

This is the road less travelled..

And when people ask me why I choose it, if it's so difficult a path to tread, such a hard journey to go on, I can only smile and ask them, "why do you assume I see any other road?"

Copyright ©2018 Richard C. Greenlow. All rights reserved.