"Man's mind, stretched to a new idea, never goes back to its original dimension." - Oliver Wendell Holmes
A while ago I wrote a piece on paradoxical thinking. It got me to the recollection of a book I read years ago by Wayne W. Dyer, called 'You'll See It When You Believe It'. I recall being immediately reeled in just by the title, loving the direct contradiction with that old adage 'seeing is believing'. Both ideas are true, yet seem contradictory, a fitting paradox! The book does a great exploration of the concept of 'dualism' in life, a notion which I believe is fundamental to a better understanding of things..
"...get very comfortable with opposites like the following...You are both shy and aggressive within the same body. You are lazy and hardworking. You get the most when you care the least about it. The tighter you squeeze water, the less you have. The things that upset us in others are the lessons we have to learn ourselves...The dualism is always there." - Wayne W. Dyer
If you're on the same page as me you can see how the acceptance of paradox, the very embracing of its nature, can lead to a transformation in thinking. Dispel the need to cling to certainty in your life, become willing to discard your views and ways of looking at the world, as and when new information arrives, and you free the mind for limitless expansion. This 'dualism' concept, once incorporated into our thinking, opens us up to seeing a richness and diversity in our lives and in the wider world which we may not have previously even noticed, or merely only had hints of in our consciousness. It naturally follows that this also frees the heart to let in and give out more love, the love of both self and others. Transformational indeed!
There will be some who read all this stuff about self-improvement and personal growth and just dismiss it, because they feel they don't need to work on themselves. At the root of this is often the misconception that they are basically perfect. This 'perfection complex' is to be found most commonly in youth but sometimes extends into adulthood, creating people the rest of us generally find to be arrogant, self-serving and critical of everyone else. Yet it is the knowledge that the imperfections in ourselves, and others, is the really good stuff that delivers richness, nuances our lives and helps us form a truer understanding of our worlds, with the added bonus of allowing us to avoid such undesirable traits as arrogance and intolerance of others.
People who embrace the path of personal development, choosing emotional/spiritual evolution (I personally struggle with the term 'spiritual' but it is intrinsically linked) over inertia and submission to human entropy, often do so from a place of powerlessness. Whether they feel their lives are not going anywhere and are questioning why, and how to move on, or they find themselves in a dark place and need to escape, but don't know how, the overarching theme is one of a lack of personal power over their situation. The paradox is that this usually stems from a lack of awareness of just how much real power the individual has over their situation. They simply do not realise that, though difficult, all they need to do is change their thinking and they can affect fundamental change over their situation. Most wonderful of all, once on the path to personal growth, they quickly realise the power they have taken back, in the very act of pulling themselves up by the bootstraps, and in the many amazing lessons there are to be learned on that path.
"The most exquisite paradox...as soon as you give it all up, you can have it all...As long as you want power, you can't have it. The minute you don't want power, you'll have more than you ever dreamed possible." - Ram Dass, "Be Here Now"
A final (paradoxical) thought..
People often decide to sidestep personal growth and plough all their efforts instead into a relationship with another. The premise is simply that all the answers can be found and life can be complete once in the relationship. I know from bitter personal experience, and observation of others, of the absolute folly of this - best case scenario, you live your life through and for the other person, losing your own identity and never fulfilling your potential. Worst, and most likely outcome, the relationship is doomed to fail because you have invested everything in improving them, and as they grow you are left behind like a stunted wallflower. So remember folks, it is never a selfish act to be focused on one's own path, concentrating on improving one's self and growing as a person.
That is what it is, to be not just human, but a human being.
Copyright ©2018 Richard C. Greenlow. All rights reserved.
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