In Crisis

So here she finds herself once again..

Lost in confusion, grief, anger and sadness, with the overwhelming feeling that nobody actually ever really seems to care enough about her to make sure she's alright.

It really shouldn't have to take such a crisis for her pain to be acknowledged. It really shouldn't be like this at all. She's thinking that if only things had been different, or she had expressed herself better, or if she wasn't so closed-off, or if she'd been helped at those key times in the past when she did reach out, if she'd ever had even five minutes to think about how she was feeling, none of this would be happening to her now.

She's hiding in the corner of the room, in the dark, surrounded by the remnants of all her dreams and hopes, crushed by the weight of circumstance and the echoing memory of a few wrong words spoken at just the wrong time, her soul screaming as her body shudders and sobs, wracked with panic and fear, breaking into pieces on the floor. She's bleeding tears which sting her face and offer absolutely no relief from the trauma of emotions tied up inside her.

Establishing how it came to this isn't really necessary or particularly helpful, any more than applying temporary sticking plaster solutions to these wounds will help. In fact, long term, all that kind of approach has ever done is extend and entrench her suffering. There's no quick fix solutions, no short-termist treatment plan and no standardised, established, 'tried and tested' methodology that can be applied to her condition.

What she needs is understanding. She needs to be heard and to feel listened to, reassured that she's not crazy to be feeling so overwrought, told that it is her life story that has led her to where she is, not some failing within her personality or some psychiatric condition at play. She needs to have her life's pains acknowledged, her struggle against the shit in her life validated, and the issues that have led her to feel she has unsuccessfully dealt with life's problems analysed and assessed and worked through, not criticised or demeaned and brushed off, only to be swept back under the carpet to simply fester.

She needs unconditional positive regard. She needs a stranger, an outsider, one who knows much of the tools and techniques of emotional problem-solving, with a proven track record in breaking down the psychological barriers and walls which we all create in our minds, one armed with a weighty toolbox of the things which will help loosen the tightly-coiled springs of her thinking, help her expand her viewpoint and challenge her mindset on that which ails her, and assist her in the process of identifying and deconstructing the complex feelings and neuroses which have led her to this dark place in her life.

She needs help, and now. She needs the right kind of help, right now. She needs it urgently and regularly and intensively in order to prevent this crisis becoming a full-blown disaster, with all the associated life-changing consequences that that will have on her and her family. She is in dire, urgent, acute medical need of help. And yet, despite this '999 emergency', the flashing blue light first-response immediacy of her need, despite the potentially disastrous long term implications of not getting immediate treatment, despite all of that - she's not going to get anything like the help she needs..

No doctor is coming out to visit her when she collapses because she just can't cope. No team of nurses is on hand to care for her basic needs and look after her basic human rights whilst she does the hard work of addressing her state of mind. No psychiatrist is available to administer temporary pharmaceutical relief, if and when required, just to smooth the pains of any particular moment, or to help her sleep, or to help her get past these times of overwhelming emotional overload. No psychologist is going to offer her an assessment and provide her with a treatment path which can facilitate her growth beyond this awful impasse, tackle her issues with pain and problems in her life, and enable her to move on past this crippling state of emotional, psychological and spiritual paralysis.

None of this is going to happen. There will be half-arsed pathetic attempts by G.P's at assessing her, if and when she presents with anxiety, depresson etc. There will be offers of support, in the form of signposting to organisations which 'can help you deal with things'. There will be vague, ineffective and basically pointless scratching around by the medical profession to show that there's been some sort of attempt made at 'treating her condition'. There will be nothing she actually really needs offered, and either no reason given for this at all, or some matter-of-fact acknowledgement that unfortunately 'this is all we can do given the limitations of the healthcare system we work under'. Budget cuts, under-funding, lack of resources, shortage of trained staff, blah, blah, blah..

The most bitter pill to swallow in all this is that the help she needs right now - that 'right kind of help', from the right kind of therapist, is actually readily available within just walking distances of our home. Just in our small local town alone, there are at least half a dozen mental health professionals armed with all the knowledge and ability to help her right away, in whatever way she needs. Therapists with a proven track-record in addressing the kind of issues she is facing, and helping with just the kind of problems that she faces right now. They are right there, available as and when required, basically all the time. Problem solved, right?

Wrong.

They are private medical professionals. The UK healthcare system does not, never has and never will offer to provide this sort of help for people with mental health and emotional well-being problems. Regardless of its effectiveness, as proven by decades of successfully treated patients, tailored psychological treatment and bespoke emotional support remains strictly in the domain of private healthcare. It basically costs a fortune. She would need at least one hourly session a week, for as long as is necessary to help her get to the root of her problems and for an effective treatment plan to be devised and put into action. We're invariably talking about paying £50 an hour, whichever therapist is chosen.

And sadly, desperately fucking horribly sadly, our family budget can't even stretch beyond about £5.

Tell me, tell her - tell us .. what the fuck are we supposed to do now?



Copyright ©2018 Richard C. Greenlow. All rights reserved.