Resistance Is Futile

How could we resist it, a life like this?
Dramatised and twisted with every kiss
And in the far-off distance, our fading memory
The simple co-existence of you and me

Just looking at you
You're out of control
You're always talking (How can we?)
That look on your face
You're out of your mind
You're always talking (How can we?)

You lie through your teeth
You scratch underneath
You're all but empty (How can we?)
Just looking at you
You're out of control
You're always talking (How can we?)

Don't rely on his reflection, it'll come undone
The hurt of his rejection won't be the only one
Thank you for showing me who you are
When all that we have left now is wounds and scars

Just looking at you
You're out of control
You're always talking (How can we?)
That look on your face
You're out of your mind
You're always talking (How can we?)

You lie through your teeth
You scratch underneath
You're all but empty (How can we?)
Just looking at you
You're out of control
You're always talking (How can we?)

- Resist by Kosheen


Many of us are brave warriors inside. We have to be. Life is basically a series of battles. We have to constantly work on our awareness, being mindful of what is right and wrong for ourselves and others, as problems present themselves and challenges arrive. In a previous piece I highlighted the fact that we live in a pain avoiding culture, where quick-fix solutions to complex problems are heralded as the answer, but that in taking these 'shortcuts' we fail to learn the inherent lessons involved in the endurance of necessary and legitimate suffering in life. There is something vital, essential, that we must employ if we are to become better at this process - the tool of discipline.

Being self-disciplined is fundamental to living life well and facing the problems in life. If we are to have integrity, let alone a shot at reaching our true potential, then applying self-discipline to how we think and act is essential. There are four main parts to discipline; delaying gratification - a way of scheduling the pleasure and pain in life so that we get the pain over with first in order to maximise the pleasure, taking responsibility - grabbing hold of the problems we face and accepting that it is us and only us that can solve them, dedication to truth - accepting and understanding that we have our internal map of reality and that it constantly needs revising and updating to reflect the changing nature of the world around us, and balancing - striking a delicate balance (and then restriking it) between conflicting needs, goals, duties, responsibilities, directions, etc.

What an awful lot of hard work. No wonder then that some of us balk at the idea of living life this way, of approaching life with this level of self-scrutiny and willingly suffering the pain and difficulty involved in it. Far easier to choose our old comforts and stick to our old ways of thinking, right? Fair enough, it is understandable to want to go that way. As long as we don't want to learn and change at all, that is. Sometimes we get on the path to growth and go some way along it, but hit the sudden realisation of just how much change is required. The enormity of what we must do, and keep doing, to maintain change and growth overcomes the realisation of the amazing benefits to be gained. We doubt our ability or capacity for change, we decide we are not ready or that we have come far enough, ultimately we feel the huge weight of the fear of change.

“Courage is not the absence of fear; it is the making of action in spite of fear, the moving out against the resistance engendered by fear into the unknown and into the future.”
― M. Scott Peck

Resistance to change happens out of a fear of the unknown. We can often notice faulty thinking in others, wonder why they continue to use such faulty thinking when there are obviously better ways to approach a problem, and yet not notice similar faulty thinking in ourselves. It is vital to remember that the fault is usually to do with a lack of self-awareness, not some deficiency of ability. It's far easier to see other people's foibles than it is to accept and deal with our own. We carry on with our faulty thinking, and acting on thoughts that are not really working for us (or others) because these ways of thinking are comfortable and we don't have to do any work to think that way, and because we lack courage. We avoid the fear factor involved in real change, in doing things differently, and we don't have to plum the depths of our souls to find the will to affect real change - we don't need to be brave.

Thing is, we have to find bravery within ourselves if we want to deal with our fear of the unknown. We have to accept the risk of failure, the likelihood that we will slip and fall often on the road to positive change, and the fact that we must give up on comforting but growth-stifling ways of thinking. Giving up involves a lot of pain - it is perhaps the greatest pain in human experience - but it is a fundamental requirement of emotional/spiritual growth to accept and endure the process of giving up on that which holds us back, in order that we can revise our internal maps, renewing ourselves ready for the challenges that lie ahead. I've said it before and I'll say it again - life is all endings and beginnings. Something has to end in order to make way for a new beginning.

"For all that is given up, even more is gained.  Self discipline is a self enlarging process.  Death of the old is the birth of the new."
- M. Scott Peck

There is comfort to be found in all this my friends. Suspend your need for instant gratification and quick results, born of whatever influences that have lead you to believe that such shortcuts really exist, and you will find solace in the certain knowledge that with positive change comes an incredible, all-encompassing feeling that is almost impossible to describe - of true accomplishment, of renewed self-confidence, of hope for the future. Your positivity will affect others for the better, infecting every part of your life with a magical kind of 'trickle-down effect'. When we are winning the hardest battles in life we are becoming stronger, our armour growing thicker and our knowledge of the battlefield growing exponentially.

Never underestimate your capacity to change for the better, and how infectious positive change is in the world. Resistance is futile!


Resist lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

Copyright ©2018 Richard C. Greenlow. All rights reserved.